There used to be more of them, but I keep exceeding my disc quota and wavs are very big. Maybe I'll just link to a site that has all the wavs you want.

Now here are some pictures I found... eventually I may put this stuff in some kind of order...

This is Bart Simpson. If you haven't been living in a closet for the last few years, you should know this already

This is Lisa Simpson. In my opinion, the episodes that feature Lisa aren't as good as the regular ones. Some people argue that the "Lisa becomes a vegetarian" episode is a classic, but Lisa is just too smart to be funny.

This is Homer Simpson. In this picture, he seems to be in a rather compromising position...

This is a picture of Itchy and Scratchy. I thought it was really cool when I first found it and I was planning to put it in my real webpage. Then TWO people stole it from me and put it in their webpages. Don't worry, I'm getting my revenge but stealing cool stuff from their pages...

Top Five Simpsons Episodes of All Time

1. Sideshow Bob tries to kill Bart in a clever spoof of Cape Fear
   It helps to have seen the movie, but anyone can enjoy this. Lots of great lines, especially during Sideshow Bob's trial....
   "No, I don't bear any grudge against Bart Simpsons for twice foiling my schemes and sending me to this urine-soaked hellhole..."
   "We object to the term "urine-soaked hellhole" when he could have said "pee-pee soaked heck-hole."
   "Cheerfully withdrawn!"
   And who can forget the relocation of the family to the boat and the parade of elephants?
2. Homer has a heart attack
   A serious topic, but Dr. Nick made it funny. And isn't it a sign of genius to be able to take a serious topic and make it funny? Well, maybe not.
   (in the insurance office)
   "Mr. Simpsons, under 'heart attacks', why did you cross out 'three' and write down 'none'?"
   "Uh... oh, I thought that said BRAIN HEMORRHAGES..."
3. The Cat Burglar
   Come on! Remember "the big T"? And then Homer's vigilante group? This is most definitely a classic.
   "Mr. Simpson, what do you say to allegations that your group is actually causing more crimes than it prevents?"
   "Well Kent, I'd be LYING if I said that my men weren't causing crimes."
   "Uh... touche."
4. Bart gets an elephant
   This is on the basis that it has so many great lines. And the fact that Bart sounded so funny when he said "Stampy".
   "In theory, Marge. Communism works, IN THEORY."
5. Lisa becomes a vegetarian
   This episode got lots of quotes below...'nuff said.

Top Simpsons Quotes of All Time

• "You should be glad something you created is making so many people happy."
  "Oh, look at me! I'm making people HAPPY! I'm the magical man, from happy land! With a gum drop house, on lollypop lane! ... In case you couldnt tell, I was being sarcastic."
  "Well, duh."
• "God, what's the meaning of life?"
  "Now, Homer, you have to wait until you die to find that out."
  "I can't wait that long!"
  "You can't wait six months?"
• "You dont know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! YOU'RE out of order. The whole freakin' system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth? You cant HANDLE the truth! Cuz when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, YOU'LL know what to do!! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!"
• "I feel funny.... I think I'm in love! No, wait... it's a stroke."
• "So it seems that the cat burglar was caught by the very person who was trying to catch him...."
  "How ironic..."
• "I thought you said he was dead!"
  "No, I said he was sleeping with the fishes."
• "No, this is German for 'the Bart, the'."
  "Nobody who speaks german could be an evil man!"
• "Dr. Nick, the coroner wants to see you..."
  "The coroner! Ugh, I'm so sick of that guy!"
• "There's a secret door where it says non-alcoholic beer."
  "But what if someone wants non-alcoholic beer?"
  "Strangely enough, the problem has never come up."
• "What's your name, little girl?"
  "I'm a boy!"
  "That's the spirit!"
• "The only danger is if they send us that TERRIBLE planet of the apes. Wait a minute.. Statue of Liberty... that was OUR planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!!"
• "Mayor Quimby supports revolving door prisons. He even let out SIDESHOW BOB, a convicted felon. Vote Sideshow Bob for mayor."
• "Now only will I prove that Fred Quimby is guilty, but I will also prove that he is innocent of being not guilty."
• "Like all good-hearted people, Krusty has small feet."
• "Now we come to 'the Killing Floor.' Don't let the name fool you... it isn't really a floor."
• "What are you doing tonight, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt."
  "Huh?!"
• "Lisa, a man who has lots of ivory is less likely to kill Stampy than one who's ivory supply is low!"
• "Moe, I have this friend... his name is Joey Joe Joe... Junior... Shabadoo."
  "That's the worst name I ever heard!"
  (man runs out crying)
  "Joey Joe Joe! Come back!"
• "Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Oh, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?!"
  "Maybe your standards are too high!"
• "Yes, I'm Hugh Jass..."
• "You are a vile, ugly man!"
  "Hey, I may be vile and ugly, but..."
• "We are out of Bort license plates. Repeat, we are out of Bort license plates."
• "It's so modern... it's ULTRA-modern. Like living in the not-too-distant future."
• "We have lots of conjecture and heresay... those are KINDS of evidence..."
• "Well, we lost the case. Here's your free pizza."
  "But we won the case!"
  "That's okay, the box is empty."
• "I have a crazy friend who says that it's wrong to eat meat. Is my friend crazy?"
  "No, just ignorant. See, your crazy friend never heard of the food chain."
• "I'm so embarrassed... I wish there were a hole I could crawl into and die..."
  "Okay, throw her in the hole!"
• "Tomorrow is the first annual "Do As You Feel" Festival, which is a welcome change from the annual "Do As We Say" Festival started by the German settlers."
• "I don't want to live anymore in a world without zinc!"
• "If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?"
• "Two independent thought alarms in one day... Willy, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms!"
  "Ach, I told you that colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!"
• "You wanted that job as Krusty's sidekick... you spent four years in clown college..."
  "Now I'd hardly call Princeton clown college!"
• "You have graduated from the most expensive and therefore best university."
• "Now kids, I'm sure Ooter is around here somewhere. You might say there's a little bit of Ooter in all of us! In fact, you might even say that we ATE Ooter and he's in our stomachs right now! Wait... scratch that last part."
• "What's brunch?"
  "You'll love it. It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantalope at the end. You don't get the same selection you do at lunch, but it's a good meal."
• "It's full of bunly goodness."
• "So 'mono' means 'one' and 'rail' means 'rails.' And that concludes our intensive three-week training course."
• "Troy, this circle is you."
  "My god! It's like you've known me my whole life!"
• "We can't afford to have a horse."
  "Marge, with today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to have a horse."
• "BBBQ: The extra B is for BYOBB."
  "What's that extra B for?"
  "That's a typo."
• "Hey! How come my pay is so low? ... Bear patrol tax! This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!"
  "Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history."
  "Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax."
  "That's home-owner tax."
  "Well, anyway, I'm still outraged."
• "Hmm... I wonder if he has any relation to this Homer Nixon..."
  "I don't think so, sir... they spell and pronounce their names differently."
• "Now, I realize caring for Mr. Burns seems like a big job, but actually it's just 2,800 small jobs."
• "Lisa, you like homework. Could you fill out this form for me?"
  "Well, all right. If you'll listen to the poem I just wrote."
  "D'oh!! Oh, okay."
  "Meditations on Turning Eight, by Lisa Simpson.
  I had a cat named Snowball --
  She died! She died!
  Mom said she was sleeping --
  She lied! She lied!
  Why oh why is my cat dead?
  Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead?
  I had a hamster named Snuffy --
  He died..."
  "No deal!"
• "You, sir, are worse than Hitler!"
• "I don't know... there's just something so unwholesome about flying a kite at night..."
  "Hello, mother dear."
• "As usual, a knife-wielding maniac has shown us the way."
• "A microscope at the beach? What was I thinking!"
• "You have reached the police emergency hotline. If you are being murdered, press 1... You have selected... regicide. If you know the name of the king being murdered, press 1."
• "Your name is Milhouse? But I thought I was the only one..."
  "A pain I know all too well."
  "So this is what it feels like when doves cry."
• "You ever see a man throw away his shoes before?"
  "Hehe... yeah, once."
• "It should be perfectly obvious to even the most dimwitted individual with a degree in geometric topology that Homer Simpson has entered the hypothetical third-dimension."
• "Don't panic. Just remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day: 'If you ever go back in time for some reason, don't touch anything.'"
• "Dad, why did you take me to a gay steel mill?"
  "I don't know..."
• "Seymour, swallow that applesauce and kiss me!"
  "I'm afraid I already swallowed it while you were speaking."
• "Is that the best excuse you could come up with? You could have at least said you were rehearsing a play or giving her CPR."
  "Uh... is it too late to say that?"
• "Stupid babies need the most attention!"
• "Do you want a donut?"
  "Uh... do you have any fruit?"
  "This one has purple in it. Purple is a fruit."
• "I met a beautiful girl in college. She called me preppie, then she died."
• "Prayer has no place in a school. Just like facts have no place in organized religion."
• "Let us take our case to the people!"
  "Okay, who do you want to talk to first: the guy in the bumblebee suit or the guy with the bone in his hair?"
  "My opinions are as legitimate as the next man!"
• "Not the sky! That's where clouds are born!"
• "Have you ever heard of Planet of the Apes?"
  "Uh... the movie or the planet?"

Also, go check out my new Smithers Page.

This page is seriously under construction... but I hope to have time to improve on it in the near future...