Welcome to My Smithers Page!

This page will attempt to answer the age-old question: What is with Mr. Burns' faithful assistant Wayland Smithers? Of course, any woman would confess that she finds him undeniably hot, but is he available (to women, that is)?

Here's a picture of Smithers "going down" in an elevator with Mr. Burns...

Here are some quotes that hint that Smithers and Mr. Burns are a bit more than assistant and boss. Some of these are based on my own observations and some are taken from this place.

Smithers' screensaver (Burns is naked): "Smithers. You are very good at turning me on."

Burns: "What are you doing tonight, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt."

Smithers: "Uh.. that kiss before was completely out of respect..."
Burns: "Yes..."

Smithers: "I'm not religious... well, I TRIED to march in the St. Patrick's Day parade..."

Smithers: "The conservative party conflicts with my... choice of lifestyle..."

Smithers: "So THIS is your sick mother!"
(to John, Homer's gay friend)

(After Marge walks in on Mr. Burns in the shower)
Smithers: "Would you like ME to leave too, sir?"
Burns: "No, Smithers, you're like... a doctor..."

Burns: "You know that dream, the one where they fly in through the window..."
Smithers: "You've been reading my wishbook, sir."

Smithers: "Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything, I'd just like to say that... I... love you."
Burns: "Hmm?"
Smithers: [hastily] "In those colors! [aside] Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!"

Smithers: "I think women and seamen don't mix!"
Burns: "We all know what YOU think!"

Burns: "What would you think of me if i started slobbering on you and sniffing at your crotch?"
Smithers: "If YOU did it, sir?"

Please excuse the lameness and incompleteness of this page. It's three in the morning now.