Okay, this is a bunch of one liners that I thought were kind of cool or made me think. They might not all be one liners, but I tried.
"Everyone's a little queer, why can't she be a little straight?" --Weezer
"Some say quit or I'll go blind, but it's just a myth." --Green Day/NF
"Does anybody know how the story really goes? Or do they all just hum along?" --STP
"I thought you said it was a good size!" --Mallrats
"Where were you while we were getting high?" --Oasis
"Anyway, if I were gay, I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis." --Bloodhound Gang
"I can't believe you fake it." --Garbage
"That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion." --REM
"If I bought you flowers... wait, let me rephrase that: If I were to let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?" --Face-off
"I'm not sick, but I'm not well. And I'm so hot cuz I'm in hell." --Harvey Danger
"You and me, I can see us dying. Are we?" --No Doubt
"You and I are gonna live forever." --Oasis
"She said it's lack of sex that's bringing me down." --Green Day
"The radio plays our favorite song and that's what keeps me hanging on." --Jocelyn Enriquez
"Only steers and queers come from Texas and you don't look much like a steer to me!" --Full Metal Jacket
"I can't eat cuz she can't cook." --Refreshments
"I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing." --King Missle
"They call you Mr. Personality cuz you're so ugly." --Gilette
"I can't promise I'll try. But I'll try to try." --Bart Simpson
"I'll do anything I can the wrong way." --Sublime
"I'll smile and you'll wave. We'll pretend it's okay." --Blink 182
"Even white boys gotta shout: Baby got back!" --Sir Mixalot
"It's like two thousand spoons when all you need is a knife." --Alannis
"I'm freezing, I'm starving, I'm losing my mind... everything's fine." --Tracy Bonham
"Behind the boathouse, I'll show you my dark secret." --Toadies
"It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine." --REM
"We're under 18, won't be doing any time." --Offspring
"If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away." --Weezer
"Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, while handicapped people make handicapped faces." --Denis Leary
"Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people." --Refreshments
"Am I just stoned?" --Green Day
"Soy un perdidor. I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?" --Beck
"Hey, wait, I have a new complaint." --Nirvana
"Give me my money back, you bitch." --Ben Folds Five
"Is she ultraviolent? Is she insane? I better tell her that I love her before she does it all over again. Oh god, she's killing me." --Green Day
"I'm a cartoon character... I don't get a period!" --Annie Hall
"I don't owe you anything." --Foo Fighters
"I don't like what you've got me hanging from." --Soundgarden
"Sleeping by yourself at night can make you feel alone." --Sublime
"Move aside, let the mango through." --Soul Coughing
"Who sucked out the feeling?" --Superdrag
"Watch your step to hell." --ICP
"Would she go down on you in a theater?" --Alanis
"I lie and I'm easy all of the time but I never know when I need you. Pleased to meet you." --Blur
"I'll get you in the end." --Beatles
"I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you." --Gloria Gaynor
"You can call things what they are. You can call yourself what you are." --House of Games
"It's not like me to go and wreck your day." --Goo Goo Dolls
"I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem." --Offspring
"Hey! I always notice the bored look in her eyes!" --Chasing Amy
"Nobody ever mentions the weather, make or break your day." --Oasis
"You worry about the weather and whether or not you should hate." --Our Lady Peace
"If you ever see me anywhere and you know me, please walk away." --Muffs
"I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life!" --The Cable Guy
"I want to push you around." --Matchbox 20
"Tell me what you want, what you really really want." --Spice Girls
"It's so wrong that I need abuse." --Stabbing Westward
"Crawl on me, sink into me, die for me." --Rob Zombie
"Don't you need somebody to love?" --Jefferson Airplane
"Please, please me like I please you?" --Beatles
"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse." --The Godfather
"So tell your friend Veronica. Drink your gin and tonica. Smoke your marijuanica. Because this is Hannukah." --Adam Sandler
"This is not my idea of a good time." --Garbage
"Baby, it's 3 AM, I must be lonely." --Matchbox 20
"This is life, what a fucked up thing we do." --Offspring
"It seems such a waste of time, if that's what it's all about." --Billy Joel
"There's more important things than making sure your watch looks just right." --Natalie Imbruglia
"I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea, and think about leaving the house." --Blur
"Did you know you did not find me?" --the Cranberries
"Hey you, looking at me. Tell me what do you see? But you quickly turn your head away." --Green Day
"Why has everything today revolved around things going in and coming out of my ass?" --Eric Cartman
"I saw the three trophies on the stage and I thought: Oh, Ben Folds Five must have won." --Billie Joe
"A friend in need's a friend indeed. A friend with weed is better." --Placebo
"And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly (for a white guy)." --Offspring
"And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)." --Weird Al
"You see my wrist, I know your pain." --Creed
"I wish I could be satisfied easily, but I'm not." --Econoline Crush
"I wish I were a messenger and all the news were good." --Pearl Jam
"I wish you wouldn't call me Daddy when we're getting it on." --the Offspring
"If anyone can hear me, slap some sense in me." --Green Day
"Ah, you hadn't counted on my loyal army of hookers!" --Dirty Work
"I'm so sweet, like a nice bon bon." --Beastie Boys
"The truth of it is that it rips me apart." --Marvelous 3
"My name is Dr. Worm. I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm." --They Might Be Giants
"We must get drunk immediately!" --Gattaca
"I think I'll have myself a beer." --Reel Big Fish
"And I said, 'What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?' She said, 'I think I remember the film and as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it.' And I said, 'Well, that's one thing we've got." --Deep Blue Something
"Do you feel the way you hate? Do you hate the way you feel?" -- Bush
"I fuck anything that walks... C'mere." -- Eminem
"Each day is better than the next." --There's Something About Mary
"My head feels like I must have had some fun." --Sublime
"I'd sooner chew my leg off than be trapped in this." -- REM
"The truth is not kind, and you said neither am I." --Toad the Wet Sprocket
"You're so money and you don't even know it." --Swingers
"Looking for girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they're girls, who do girls like they're boys." --Blur
"No one here is getting out alive. This time I've lost my mind and I don't care. So close your eyes and kiss yourself goodbye, and think of all the times you've spent and what they've meant. To me it's nothing." --Green Day
"Jesus was way cool. He turned water into wine. And if he wanted, I bet he could turn wheat into marijuana, sugar into cocaine, or vitamin pills into amphetamines." --King Missle
"If I wasn't such a weenie, do you think you'd still love me?" --Offspring
"You bet you'll get what you deserve." --Cranberries
"I'm not a wolf, but I like to wear sheep's clothing." --Garbage
"Wait'll they get a load of me." --Batman
"I should've known better with a girl like you." --Beatles
"I'm a liar, believe me, baby." --Econoline Crush
"You know you should, so I guess you might as well." --Oasis
"I got no motivation. Where is my motivation? No time for motivation. Smoking my inspiration." --Green Day
"It's hard to say what it is I see in you." --Sister Hazel
"She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly." --Ben Fold Five
"For the life of me I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise." --Verve Pipe
"Sometimes I cannot take this place, sometimes it's my life I can't taste." --Korn
"Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?" --Rob Zombie
"Leave me right here, because I don't wanna go." --Veruca Salt
"I don't ever want to feel like I did that day." --Red Hot Chili Peppers
"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat -- that's cruel)." --Barenaked Ladies
"Maybe you could break my heart next summer." --Weezer
"I don't know if I am real without you. What is left of me without you? I don't know what's real without you. How can I exist without you?" --Stabbing Westward
"So go ahead and kill yourself.... it all amuses me." --Green Day
"Where do bad folks go when they die?" --Meat Puppets
"Christ, you know it ain't easy. You know how hard it can be. The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me." --Beatles
"I'll never learn, God knows I try." --Offspring
"The fog forming on my window tells me that the morning here and you'll be gone before too long." --Sublime
"My thoughts, I confess, verge on dirty." --Dexy's Midnight Runners
"The love shack is a little old place where we can get together." --the B-52's
"She says I'm the one she really wants, but I'll never be the one she needs." --Econoline Crush
"Who can I trust if I can't trust in you?" --Jennifer Lopez
"I haven't heard a word you've said, and I'm not just being mean." --Goo Goo Dolls
"I'm more of a man than you are, and I'm more of a woman than you'll ever have." --Rent
"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down. And I do appreciate you being 'round." --Beatles
"I don't want to go to sleep, cuz I'd miss you." --Aerosmith
"It's a long hard road out of hell." -- Marilyn Manson
"All I want from life is a car that I can drive." --Self (not me, the band)
"My friends say I should act my age... what's my age again?" --Blink 182
"Look but don't touch, touch but don't taste, taste but don't swallow." --The Devil's Advocate
"I know she thinks she loves me but I never can believe what she said." --Sugar Ray
"I need you now somehow." --Silverchair
"I got a girl that won't even hold my hand." --Tripping Daisy
"The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care. Right?" --Offspring
"A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side, a little bit of Rita is all I need, a little bit of Tina is what I see, a little bit of Sandra in the sun, a little bit of Mary all night long, a little bit of Jessica here I am, a little bit of you makes me your man." --Lou Bega
"You should learn when to go." --Hole
"You never bring me anything but down." --Sheryl Crow
"Every now and then I kick the living sh*t out of me." --Lit
"Yeah, but I get really lonely... I mean, look at me!" --The Cable Guy
"Alone he composes a bittersweet ditty in the third person." --Self
"To love her is to need her everywhere." --Beatles
"I am Jack's complete lack of surprise." --Fight Club
"I think I'm sick and I want to go home." --Green Day
"It's a widely believed fact." --Futurama
"When we sway, I grow weak." --Dean Martin
"Why are you so petrified of silence?" --Alanis
"What's with these homies dissin' my girl?" --Weezer
"There's always some bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend." --Scream
"I don't know what I want and it's all that I've got." --Green Day
"Why can't I smile?" --Self
"I'm not an addict, it's cool, I feel alive." --K's Choice
"Maybe I'm just too frightened by the sound of it." --Better Than Ezra
"I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who'd walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door." --Proclaimers
"Why do you get high?" --Jimmie's Chicken Shack
"Was I out of my mind?" --Fastball
"I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That Yale thing." --American Psycho
"They say we're too young, but I never listen to what I've been told. And I'd rather be too young than too old to feel the way I do about you." --Smoking Popes
"These are the days to remember, cuz they will not last forever. These are the times to hold onto, cuz we won't, although we'll want to." --Billy Joel
"Tell me why, ain't nothing but a mistake?" --Backstreet Boys
"But I believe in this!" --Dogma
"She's dressed in yellow, she says, 'Hello, come sit next to me, you fine fellow.'" --Young MC
"I'm so low that I wish I was dead." --Self
"What if you don't fly?" --Superdrag
"You think she's an open book, but you don't know which page to turn to, do you?" --Cake
"Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?" --Joni Mitchell
"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. Two can be as bad as one -- it's the loneliest number since the number one." --Three Dog Night
"When I grow up, I'll be stable." --Garbage
"If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down." --Gin Blossoms
"David Duchovny, why won't you love me?" --Bree Sharp
"You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel." --Bloodhound Gang
"I declare I don't care no more!" --Green Day
"You can have it all, but how much do you want it?" --Oasis
"My blood runs cold." --J. Guiles Band
"I don't know... I have so many strong reservations. Should I go and perform... mutilations?" --Little Shop of Horrors
"What if I did?" --Creed
"If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman?" --Three Doors Down
"You say go slow. I fall behind." --Cyndi Lauper
"You make me come. You make me complete. You make me completely miserable." --Lit
"Where'd you get your information from, huh?" --the Beastie Boys
"Why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side?" --Kermit the Frog
"I know what I know, if you know what I mean." --Edie Brickell
"Will we ever be again?" --Fuel
"Growing up is awfuller than all the awful things that ever were." --Peter Pan
"They might just be the next best thing, but not quite me." --Eminem
"Nothing's all right. Nothing is fine." --Papa Roach
"I want you to notice when I'm not around." --Radiohead
"I know you want what's on my mind. I know you like what's on my mind. I know it eats you up inside. I know you know." --STP
"Oh no, I've said too much. I haven't said enough." --REM
"Never misunderstand me." --Godsmack
"I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby." --Wheatus
"I know she may not be Miss Right, she'll do right now." --SR-71
"Pardon me, while I burst into flames." --Incubus
"I think I'm dumb. I think I'm just happy." --Nirvana
"I'd be very sad, at the least, if you decide to leave." --Pinhead Gunpowder
"Words are very unnecessary. They can only do harm." --Depeche Mode
"Fingernails are pretty. Fingernails are good." --Foo Fighters
"Give me good times." --Blur
"One guy's wasted and the other's a waste." --Offspring
"I'm a waste like you, with nothing else to do. May I waste your time too?" --Green Day
"Why does she waste all her time with me?" --Blessid Union of Souls
"Only a numbskull thinks he knows things about things he knows nothing about!" --The Hudsucker Proxy
"She was just seventeen, you know what I mean." --Beatles
" 'Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream,' she said. 'The one that makes me laugh,' she said. And threw her arms around my neck. 'Show me how you do it, and I promise you, I promise that I'll run away with you. I'll run away with you.' " --the Cure
"I didn't want to hurt you, oh yeah." --Teenage Fanclub
"Not a thing to do but talk to you." --Cheap Trick
"A decade ago, I never thought I would be 23 and on the verge of spontaneous combustion." --Incubus
"Nobody likes you when you're 23." --Blink 182
"But either way, I want to kill you. I want to blow you away." --Poe
"I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name. Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin. I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison." --Alice Cooper
"I may be crazy, a little frayed around the ends." --the Foo Fighters
"If I'm crazy then it's true that it's all because of you." --Billy Joel
"All I know is I gotta get away from me." --Offspring
"An ordinary boy. An ordinary name. But ordinary's just not good enough today." --Our Lady Peace
"I'm in distress, oh mistress I confess, so do it one more time. These handcuffs are too tight. You know I will obey, so please don't make me beg." --Green Day
"You don't know how you move me, deconstruct me, and consume me." --Matthew Sweet
"And I promise you, I will treat you well, my sweet angel, so help me Jesus." --Toadies
"If you should ever leave me - though life would still go on, believe me - the world could show nothing to me. So what good would living do me? God only knows what I'd be without you." --the Beach Boys
"What would you ask if you had just one question?" --Joan Osborne
"Everything is fine. This sh*t happens all the time." --Self
"F*ck it, fight it, it's all the same." --Sublime
"When you want to be with me then we will see who's f*cking with my head." --Beck
"First, you can never go too far." --Ferris Bueller
"What seems to be is always better than nothing. There's nothing at all." --Doobie Brothers
"And though you're far away, you're not so far that I don't remember." --Blackball
"All these feelings, they cloud up my reasoning." --Matchbox 20
"When I'm gone, I'll prove you all wrong." --Self
"I might as well just grin and bear it, because it's not worth the trouble of an argument." --Blur
"I know I'm a sinner, but I can't say no." --Weezer
"Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said by rights you should be blungeoned in your bed." --The Smiths
"If you think that I don't know about depression and emotional pain, you're insane." --Dandy Warhols
"Just say it wasn't you." --Shaggy
"I love you more than I did the week before I discovered alcohol." --Barenaked Ladies
"I'm just a jerk, but a hero's what I want to be." --Verve Pipe
"I thought that you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive." --Jann Arden
"I don't understand, at best." --Dave Matthews Band
"I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together." --Beatles
"I am the fire, I can't get burned." --Matchbox 20
"I don't need a miracle, but I could use a push in the right direction." --Refreshments
"I know it's not your thing to care." --Ben Folds Five
"I'm not even getting out of bed today." --Sublime
"I'm not getting any younger as long as you don't get any older." --Green Day
"I finally had an orgasm, but my doctor told me it was the wrong kind." --Manhattan
"Should I cool it or should I blow?" --the Clash
"Just one more fight and I'll be history." --Limp Bizkit
"We like having fun at other people's expenses." --Sum 41
"But I'm fine. No one got left here." --Cold
"But what good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?" --The Matrix
"Look! A rhythmic ceremonial ritual!" --Back to the Future
"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long." --Beach Boys
"It's over and it might as well be my fault." --Matchbox 20
"I've got to be honest. I think you know." --Vertical Horizons
"You told me it would last forever. The way you held my hand, I knew that it was now or never." --Bryan Adams
"Deep in love, not a lot to say." --Beatles